Changes...

It has been a while since I posted here is a run down of what has been going on....

June 13th - We went to the Crater of Diamonds with my mom and sister and her family and we all came home with a diamond...NOT...but we did have fun...they have a water park there so after we went digging and had our picnic lunch outside we went swimming.

June 14th - Found out we are pregnant with our 4th child. I took 2 test that morning b/c I knew Andy wouldn't believe it if there was only 1 + test....ha. When I showed him the test that morning he said, "that's good there's 2 lines" and I said, "yes there IS 2 lines" he looked at the test closer and saw what 2 lines meant and said, "oohh".

June 16th - We went to Cabot that night to have dinner with my grandparents and the rest of our extended family for an early Father's Day...The older 2 boys stayed the night with Andy's parents because they where getting up early and going to Chicago the next morning. And I went with Noah to my mom's.

June 17th - 20th - I stayed in Cabot with Noah at my mom's so we could see my sister and her kids that were staying with my mom. We went to my cousin Lori's house and let the kids play on the tire swings and they have chickens so they got to feed the chickens and get the eggs. Then Lori cooked Juevos Rancheros with the fresh eggs. We also went swimming at a friends house...we had a good time.

Andy and his dad took Jessie and Joshua to Chicago for the Cubs vs Sox's game. There was a man sitting in front of them at the game in a Santa suit that had signs that said the Sox where on the naughty list and he let Joshua hold up some of the signs. Also before the game started during batting practice both of the boys got a baseball.....they where sitting in the bleachers. They went to the zoo but got rained on most of the trip except for when they were at the game. But they had a great time and Andy over their time in Chicago ate at Lambert's Cafe, had a Philly steak sandwich, and went to Giordano's and had 2 Chicago style pizzas and LOST A POUND...but I am not bitter...nope not 1 bit...actually he has lost a total of 52 pounds so far only 10.5 pounds away from his goal.

June 21st - Since everyone had been gone until Saturday we didn't do anything special for Father's Day except I had bought Andy some grilling tools for Father's Day so he grilled and bought himself a steak and I made a bunch of sides and we had a good, relaxing dinner at home.

June 22th - Andy took Jessie to football camp at War Memorial Stadium. It was hosted by Life Champs. That afternoon I was in A LOT of pain and started spotting. We went to the ER and I was 6 weeks pregnant they did 3 ultrasounds, 2 external and 1 internal and they didn't see anything and said I may be to early in my pregnancy to see anything on the ultrasound but they took blood work that said I was 4-6 weeks pregnant.

June 23rd - Jessie's 2nd day at football camp and I took him this time and it was HOT almost 100 degrees. He did really good at the camp and at the end of the day they play 2 hand touch football and Jessie made touchdowns, interceptions, and deflected the football...it was awesome and I can't wait until he plays football this fall. At the end of the camp they handed out 4 character awards for 2 age groups, 5-6 & 7-8. Jessie received 1 of the awards for the 7-8 year olds and it was given to him by Anthony Lucas, a former Razorback. I was really proud of him.

June 26th & 27th - Jessie was asked to play on a tournament baseball team in NLR...he and Sawyer were recommended by their baseball coach to a friend who was looking for some extra players. Jessie had 2 practices with the team and they played a game Friday night and got rolled. And then they played 4 games on Saturday and they looked like a new team Saturday morning they did great!! We played a team that were suppose to be 7-8 year olds but I think these kids where married with families...they were HUGE. We played them better then any other team did but they won. We ended up coming in 3rd place which is pretty good for a team that played together for the 1st time. Andy's dad picked up Joshua and Noah for the last game which was GREAT they had been up since 6 something and they were TIRED. So after the game we took Jessie to Colton's and let him use his free kids meal coupon he got a school for good grades. We really enjoyed having that time with just Jessie and I know he was loving it...ha. We went home and watched a movie with him and Nana and Papa brought us Joshua and Noah at bed time.

So at the game I started to bleed heavier and called the doctor who said if it got worse to go to the ER and stay off my feet...I tried to take it easy as possible at the ball fields and thankfully my mom was their and helped me... I wouldn't have made it without her.

June 28th - It is my sister's 28th birthday today...Happy Birthday Jennifer!

June 29th - We went to see my doctor and he did an ultrasound and more blood work...they had had me come in Thursday 25th for follow up blood work so they compared my 3 blood work results. The doctor didn't see anything on the ultrasound at this visit.

June 30th - The nurse called me to tell me my levels dropped significantly...they where actually around the same levels from the Monday I was in the ER a week earlier. So they believe I miscarried. We are really sad about it even though we were not intending on having another one. To be honest, I wasn't thrilled about having another one... Not to say I wouldn't have enjoyed having another child, but I had already sold my baby furniture. Noah, my youngest, is 3 and I just couldn't imagine "starting over" as busy as we are with 3 boys and adding a baby to the mix. Not meaning to sound ungrateful because I wasn't upset about it I just wasn't jumping on the couch excited. In fact I was praying that God would help me keep a positive attitude and be overjoyed with having another one.

And at this time Andy and I don't know what are feelings are about having another one but this definitely gave us something to think and pray about. But we are both very sad, disappointed and hurt. I truly feel for all parents that have lost a child no matter what stage it was in...I know this would be so much harder for both of us if we had actually seen the baby on the ultrasound, heard a heart beat, or seen it moving around.

July 1st - I started a new job today working with my hubby in the Bryant Schools Technology Dept as a webmaster/tech support. I had been working on the school website since the end of September from home as a contract worker and they made it a full time job.

I had to go to the Admin office and turn in my hours from working as a contract worker and sign my contract. I had emailed one of the bookkeeper's about health insurance when I found out I was pregnant and she had been out of town when I sent the email so I told her not to worry about the email that we lost the baby and she looked at me so sad and said, "I'm sorry" I said it was "okay" and she said,"no it's not" and I started tearing up and said, "I know". It took everything I had not to lose it in her office, of whom I had never met. As soon as I got back to my car I lost it and cried on my way back to my office. I tried to gather myself before I went back to work and Andy took one look at me and I had to walk back out...he followed me and let me cry it out...with out trying to lose it himself. I was thankful I worked with my husband at that moment. When I had found out the day before my levels dropped. I just kinda of pushed my feelings to the side thinking I was fine but I wasn't and I needed to be able to cry about it and deal with it because it is sad and hurts.

July 2nd - We only had to work half a day today and we are off tomorrow. I really enjoy my job so far and I like the people I work with...even my husband...lol. I got to go out to eat with the office yesterday and they let me pick the restaurant. I felt like a dog with new company...I was so excited I didn't know where to go...to be able to eat with just adults at a sit down restaurant was AWESOME...on top of that they had just bought everyone new chairs and they are SWEET, they ordered me a big desk I only have half of it right now, and I get a 17in. Macbook Pro (laptop) and a desktop with 2 monitors, and the rumor is we all will get the new iPhone soon. So I am EXCITED about the perks of my job and I like what I am doing too.

Other info...so this Monday I am leaving with my boys and some of my family to drive to Wisconsin for a family reunion. So pray for us...ha...the boys may not make it home in 1 piece if they act in the car they way they can act at home sometimes...lol. Andy can't go because he is flying out Friday to go to technology training until Tuesday night. And we won't be back in time for him to fly out....and the summer time is his busiest time at work and he really can't miss that many days in a row.

Also we actually have a new addition to our family....a dog...we got him a month ago. My mom found him on her bus route. Someone dropped him off at this ruin down house and the teenager living there was going to shoot him. He looks so much like the dog that we lost in Alma that my mom thought we may want him. He is so well behaved we couldn't ask for a better dog...and he was trained to do tricks and house trained too. The boys really enjoy having him in the house. I will post pics of him soon but my camera is dead...